Why Great Leaders Start by Leading Themselves
Here’s a truth we don’t talk about enough: Leadership starts with you.
Before you can lead your team, your organisation, or anyone else effectively, you’ve got to take charge of yourself. And I’m not just talking about having a clear vision or knowing your goals. I mean truly leading yourself—how you manage your energy, prioritise personal development, and set the tone for everyone around you.
Over the past year, I’ve been on my own journey with this. Building a business, coaching clients, consulting with businesses who plan to grow, public speaking, and being Mum to a wonderful (and challenging) little human - it’s a lot! I realised very quickly that if I didn’t intentionally find time to care for myself, I wouldn’t have the capacity to support my clients or my family, let alone grow my business.
Leadership Is Personal
The energy you bring to your role as a leader has a ripple effect. If you’re frazzled, tired, or overwhelmed, it shows. Your team picks up on it, even if you think you’re hiding it well.
This is something I became aware of when I was working in tech, responsible for the Incident Response team.
Things could get pretty stressful, particularly when more senior people were losing their heads. This absolutely used to affect me as I’d be worrying about their treatment of me and my team, about whether we could fix the problem within SLAs, about what that customer who was always really difficult would say etc etc.
Letting all of this run wild in my head meant that my team looked at me and saw someone who didn’t feel confident about the situation or the team’s ability to handle it.
They naturally became way more stressed than they needed to be and didn’t feel empowered to do what needed to be done.
I started to work consistently on my own response to stressful situations and how I reacted to other people’s behaviours, and when I did, my team became happier and able to solve problems so much more effectively.
When you’re intentional, focused, and supportive, it inspires the same energy in your team.
That’s why self-leadership is so essential. It looks like:
Being reflective: Taking time to ask yourself what’s working, what’s not, and how you could improve.
Planning intentionally: Thinking about not just what your team needs, but how you can grow and develop alongside them.
Prioritising well-being: Making sure you’re rested, energised, and ready to take on the challenges ahead.
For me, this has meant leaning on my own support network, saying yes to help when it’s offered, and learning to ask for it when it’s not.
It means taking time to look after my mind and body (and giving myself a break when Mum duties mean I can’t stick to the plan) and making space for friendships that feed my soul.
Your Team Is Watching
As leaders of a team (or a family!), we’re always modeling behaviour - whether we realise it or not. If you’re the type of leader who’s constantly running on empty, it signals to your team that they need to do the same. But if you prioritise growth, reflection, and intentionality, you set the bar for a culture of continuous improvement.
This doesn’t mean you need to have it all together. I certainly don’t! (Making time for myself has absolutely improved but I have to work at it ALL THE TIME and I still have a way to go!) The point is to keep improving, to be transparent about your journey, and to create space for your team to grow too.
Continuous Improvement Isn’t Optional
Leading yourself means taking responsibility for your own development. Whether it’s building new skills, finding better ways to manage stress, or improving how you support your team, growth is never done.
When I started public speaking, it terrified me. Now, I’ve spoken at venues I wouldn’t have dreamed of a year ago. That growth happened because I intentionally pushed myself, sought feedback, and kept improving.
The same goes for your team. Are you planning how each person will grow in their role? Are you helping them reflect on their strengths and areas for improvement? Great leadership isn’t about managing tasks - it’s about developing people.
Planning Ahead
You don’t need a new year to turn over a new leaf. If change is important, it should start now. Take time to explore how you’ve led over the past year—and how you’ll do better in the year ahead. Ask yourself:
What kind of leader do I want to be?
How will I support my team’s development?
What intentional steps can I take to improve my energy, focus, and impact?
For me, this has meant setting clear boundaries (Mondays are sacred time with my daughter), creating systems to free up mental space, and continuing to push myself outside my comfort zone.
Because here’s the thing: If I’m not leading myself well, I can’t be the leader my clients and my family deserve. And neither can you.
Let’s Do This Together
Leadership is a journey, and none of us have all the answers. But by starting with ourselves - by leading with intention and reflecting on how we can improve - we create the foundation for everything else.
So whatever is going on for you right now, I invite you to take some time to think about how you can lead yourself first. And if you’re ready to dive deeper, let’s talk. I’d love to hear about your journey and help you map out what’s next.
What will you do to lead yourself better? Let me know - I’m all ears.
